The tale of Pedo Shepard
by Blood Red Knife
Summary: How would the end of Mass Effect 3 have turned out if Shepard wasn't a great hero, but an evil sick Pedo! Read to find out!


The tale of Pedo Shepard

I do not own the Mass Effect series. It belongs to EA and Bioware.

Warning the following story contains strong language and highly disturbing and fucked up content and the main character acting OOC. Anyone under the age of 18 should get the hell out of here right now!

Shepard was staring out of his cell window at the little boy. The boy was playing with his toy space ship. Shepard liked watching the little boy, he liked it a lot. Shepard wanted to do things to the little boy, very bad things. Shepard started to have very naughty thoughts about the little boy, but before he could take them any further James came to visit him and the magic was gone.  
Still Shepard thought about that little boy, he thought about him even when the reapers attacked earth and started killing everybody! Shepard tried to drive the boy from his mind, but then he met him again in the vents. Shepard extended his hand to the little boy and said, "Here, take my hand."

The kid was about to take it, but then he saw a hard bulge in Shepard's pants. To say he was more than a little disturbed by this would be a great understatement. The boy frowned and said, "Do you have a flash light in your pants or something?"

Shepard smiled a creepy smile and replied, "No, but I do have my magic stick inside of it. I'll show it to you if you come out."

"Actually I ah, feel pretty safe here; I'll just stay here in the vents….ah yeah."

"Okay kid suit yourself."

A while later when Shepard was back on the Normandy he saw the kid inside of an escape shuttle. The wind was blowing and Shepard could already feel the tightening in his pants. The feeling of getting a mega hard on; Shepard knew what he had to do. He smiled at the kid and flashed him his mega piece of mighty man meat!

The kid gulped in horror and shouted, "Let's get the hell out of here!"  
The shuttle then took off a few moments took soon and was destroyed by a big red mean reaper laser! Shepard watched in horror as the little boy died along with his erection. There was nothing left of him now, but ashes and Shepard couldn't fuck those. Shepard had dreamed for months of fucking that little boy into oblivion and that dream had died with him! So the great Commander Shepard went back to his room and wept like baby!

Not because of the countless millions who had died that day, but because of the little boy who he would never fuck. Later that night Shepard had a strange dream, he was in a forest all alone. It was dark and there were voices and black shadows everywhere. He was wearing only his underwear in his dream and had the face of pedo bear. Shepard saw the boy hiding behind a tree and he got all giddy like a school girl and said, "Hey little boy I am so happy you're in my dream, now let's make it a wet one!"

The boy just ran away from Shepard and Shepard just groaned in frustration. Even in his own fucking dream the boy feared him and his pedophile perverseness. So Shepard chased the boy through the woods and just when he was about to catch him, he woke up. Shepard moaned in disappointment and shouted, "Damn it!"

He banged his fist against the bed and then he got up, punched his steel bedroom wall and screamed in pain like a bitch. Shepard had dreams about the boy for a couple of nights, but no matter how hard he ran in them, Shepard could never catch the boy. The night before the assault on the Cerberus base Shepard was alone in his cabin. He had no one who loved him to spend the night with since he was a Pedo man who just wanted to bang little boys. Shepard ripped off all his clothes and sat down naked in his bed.  
He pictured the little boy's face and pumped his ten inch long man gun until he shot all of his happy wonderful white love cream all over the ceiling! Shepard fell asleep a few moments after and had the last dream that he would ever have in his life. Shepard ran through the woods and he ran after the little boy with everything he had. Still he could not catch him.  
Then Shepard saw another version of himself rush over and hug the boy. Shepard saw the boy and the other version himself being incinerated by the reaper laser and then woke up screaming like a crazy bitch! A few days later Shepard found himself at the end of his journey. The Illusive man and Anderson were dead now and he was the only one who could stop the reapers!  
Shepard knew that if the reapers weren't stopped all intelligent organic civilizations would be destroyed and his dream of opening an all boys school for kids between of six and twelve who he would fuck every day would be history. Shepard crawled over to the control panel and then had thoughts about the boy again. Having lost so much blood and having a raging on hard on at the same time made Shepard pass out. Suddenly he heard a voice say, "Wake up."

Shepard awoke and he saw a hologram of the boy he had seen die standing right in front of him. Even though Shepard was greatly injured he managed to stand up and said, "Who are you?"

"I am the Catalyst."

"Why do you look like the little boy I saw die on earth?"

"I've taken this form because it's something that you like, if you want I can change it."

"No, no, no don't! Wait I mean your current form is fine, before we start talking though can you do something for me?"

"What is it?"

"I want you to turn around and bend down."

"Like this?"

Shepard licked his lips and started un zipping his pants while saying, "Perfect."

An hour later Joker was sitting aboard the Normandy waiting for something to happen, waiting for this horrible war to end and for the reapers to be destroyed. He was sure that the crucible had been activated by now, but still nothing was happening. The reapers were still destroying earth, in fact now there were even more of them. In fact every reaper in the galaxy was destroying earth now and killing tens of millions of people a minute. Joker had no idea what was going on, then Shepard contacted him and communicated with him and said, "Hey Joker I kind of messed up."

Joker shouted, "Shepard what's going on? Where are you, the earth's getting pounded to hell as we speak!"

"Well I'm on the citadel right now and to make a long and very confusing story short, the catalyst is the AI that was controlling the reapers, he was going to give me the means to stop him because I proved him that organic life means something or whatever. But I fucked him and he went a little nuts. He decided that since humans are the only race capable of pedophilia that there the biggest threat to the galaxy and they got to go. He's just reprogrammed the reapers to wipe out all humans in the galaxy instead of all advance organic civilizations. So at least all the aliens are going to live, but humanity is pretty fucked right now. I guess I should tell you that I am a pedophile now, but at least I don't have a hard on for a computer. So can you pick me up on the citadel now J man?"

Suddenly the earth exploded and billions of people dead and the reapers went off to destroy the rest of the humans in the galaxy. Joker just sat in his chair stunned and did nothing for a few moments. Then he burst into a fit of pure rage, he fall down on the ground crying, screaming, and banging his fists against the ground so hard that they bled!  
Joker's anger got so great that he had an anger induced orgasm and jizzed in his pants!

Once he did that he got back into his chair and screamed, "YOU JUST FUCKED UP THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE YOU MOTHER FUCKING PERVERT CHILD RAPIST FREAK! I WISH I HAD KILLED YOU THE MOMENT I LAID MY MOTHER FUCKING EYES ON YOU, YOU SICK FUCK YOU DOOMED US ALL! I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Joker then drove the Normandy right into the right into the citadel. Shepard saw it coming and said, "Oh fuck berries!"

Joker crushed into the citadel killing Shepard, himself, the whole crew of the Normandy and anyone who still happened to be alive on the citadel in one big fucking rain bow colored explosion! That was how the tale of Pedo Shepard mother fucking ended!

The End


End file.
